COMFORT AND JOY
by puckasaurusgleek
Summary: Rachel has the life she always dreamed of until she opens her eyes after a car accident and is suddenly in a world that brings her so much more than she ever imagined. Puckleberry with some Finntana and Jarley. Rated M for swearing and some smexy mentions... enjoy! R&R. All ownership rights belong to... others. Merry Christma-Hanukkah
1. Chapter 1

Life was everything Rachel Berry had ever dreamed it could be. She was a Tony Award winning actress; had been labeled the Queen of Broadway, and was sure that life couldn't get any better. Well, that's not completely true. Despite the insane applause every night and constant recognition, she found herself longing for something; something she couldn't place. She didn't notice that she'd stop walking through the park and watch family's playing on the swing set or that she would walk through the baby section at most stores. It never phased her that she was finally at the point in her life where settling down and having her own family would be appealing. She figured it would happen at some point but it seemed that her heart was ready to be filled.

'Tina darling, can you please call my father and let him know that I won't be able to make it to his Hanukkah celebration tonight.' She asked as she wrapped herself in her red, plaid scarf and buttoned her red Burberry coat.

'Really Rach? You promised you'd be going…'

'I know but something came up!' She chirped and grabbed her bag off the desk.

'What could possibly be more important than your fathers; especially considering that they drove here from Lima to see you this week.' Tina huffed blocking the door.

'The show needs me. Ken, as our directing Nazi has decided that the holidays are no excuse to put off our beloved play and frankly, I agree. I'll see them tomorrow but I need to get to the theatre right now. Please Tina…'

'Fine Rachel, but you owe me.' She said with a glare and moved out of the brunette's way. Truth be told, Rachel really didn't feel like celebrating Hanukkah this year. Over the last few years she had realized that the magic of the eight days had faded and become just something standard they did every year. She would much rather live in the moment by cherishing her devilishly handsome co-star/boyfriend Brody and working hard on her current musical that she knew would earn her another Tony instead of living in the past by lighting candles and chanting a half-hearted prayer.

'Thanks Sweetie! I'll make sure and give Mike your best wishes.' Tina's eyes lit up at the sound of her high school sweetheart's name. Rachel knew she had won and strolled out of her manager's office full of confidence and trying to push the guilt down that kept creeping up on her.

She hopped into her sleek black Jaguar and took a deep breath before turning the radio up and pulling out of her parking spot. Traffic in Manhattan was always a nightmare but today seemed much worse. They had gotten a light dusting of snow in the early morning and it had yet to melt, instead it had created slick roadways that only heightened the dangers of driving in the city. Rachel knew how do drive in snow, she lived in Ohio for goodness sake, but she knew that other people hadn't and it scared her. Instead of driving all the way across NYC, she decided that parking her car at her apartment and walking the two blocks to the theatre would be the safest option. Just as she turned down her quiet street a song began to play that not only made her laugh out loud but also made her heart squeeze.

'**Hanukkah, oh Hanukkah, come light the menorah… let's have a party! We'll all dance the Horrah!**' _Haven't heard this song in a while_, she thought to herself as she crept slowly towards her apartment. If it was up to her she would reminisce for a moment about high school and move on; unfortunately, her dramatic mind and emptiness caused her trip down memory lane to turn into a full analysis of her life. Suddenly the emptiness grew into a large aching whole and she wished more than anything that the boy who sang this a lifetime ago, was near to save her. Puck was the _only_ one who had ever saved her.

The sound of screeching tires tore her attention back to the road, she didn't see anything but she felt the crunch as a car came from behind and crashed into hers. She had just a moment to realize she had been hit before her head slammed into the steering wheel and she lost consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

'Holy shit, Baby, are you okay?!' Rachel lifted her head off the steering wheel and fought to hold back the vomit that was threatening to come up. She cringed and rubbed her head, trying desperately to fight through the fog. 'Seriously Rae… are you okay?' The tenderness and worry in the familiar man's voice caught Rachel's attention and she forced herself to open her eyes through the pain.

'N-Noah?'

'Jesus, I'm so freaking sorry Honey, I didn't mean to run into you. My tires caught on the ice and I couldn't stop.' He apologized, regret etched all over his face

'What are you doing here Noah? I thought you were in LA winning Grammys.' She asked in shock. The man she had been thinking of just moments before had literally been driving right behind her. She looked into his lovely hazel eyes and watched as the regret disappeared and worry replaced it.

'We just got back from the mall Rachel…'

'Please don't tease me Noah. I'm not in the mood. When did you get to New York?' The worry in his eyes grew and he began pulling her from the car and fussing over her head.

'Fuck, I bet I gave you a fucking concussion!' He spat, his voice a harsh contrast to the gentle way he was running his fingers over her forehead causing her breath to catch in her throat. 'Rach, we should probably take you to the hospital, let someone take a look at that for you.'

'I'm fine Noah, I promise. Now, please unhand me so I can get to practice. We definitely need to plan dinner though. I've been missing you a lot lately.' She stated hopefully. She really did miss him and despite her current relationship status, she really wanted to catch up and see where life had led him. She wanted to hear the stories about the songs that had won him his awards, the ups and downs of the music business and what he was doing with all of his new found fame. The new tiny wrinkles around his eyes and the age in his face were intriguing. They showed that time had definitely gone by but had done nothing but improve the boy that at one time had held her heart. Her hope quickly faded when he actually scoffed at her. It reminded her of the old Puck… the one that slushied her daily and couldn't stand the sight of her. 'Uhm… u-unless you don't want to.'

'Rachel, what practice? We already have dinner planned. Ya know, with our kids and shit…' Suddenly anger coursed through her veins. How dare he continue with such ridiculous lies _after_ he rear ended her beautiful car!

'Get your hands off me Puck. I thought you'd grown up but apparently I was wrong.' She spat and stood up; pushing his hands away and spun around to get into her car. The sight of her vehicle stopped her dead in her tracks. What was a gorgeous, sexy Jaguar just moments ago was suddenly a… mini van?! _What the hell is happening!_ Her inner thoughts screamed. She looked down and realized that her clothes were different too. The sleek black dress she had on earlier was replaced with a pair of worn jeans and a Denver Broncos hoodie.

'Rachel, you're fucking scaring me right now.' Puck's broken tone caused her heart to clench and her breathing to become stifled. 'Please talk to me…'

'I… I don't know what's happening Noah. One minute I was in my car driving down 10th and now suddenly I'm standing in the middle of only God knows where and I drive a MINI VAN… and I'm wearing jeans!' She was panicking and for the first time in her life, the feel of Noah's hands didn't bring an ounce of comfort.

'I can tell you what I know if you're willing to listen…' She nodded and let him pull her into his chest.

'You and I woke up this morning, dropped the kids off at my mom's and went to the mall to get the rest of the Hanukkah presents we needed and some groceries. We took both cars because you wanted to hide a present you picked up for me. I don't know what's going on in your head but that's the truth Babe…' He looked like the insecure boy that had sung her the very first serenade she had ever received. It caused her heart to squeeze and she wished that whatever was going on would correct itself. She had no recollection of these things that Puck was telling her but the look on his face told her that he believed every word he spoke and she knew that she was hurting him.

'I… I need to go!' She scrambled into the still running van and hit the gas, fishtailing her way down the street to get away from Puck and whatever practical joke he was playing on her. That's what it had to be. That or she was dead and this was her own form of The Five People You Meet in Heaven…. A fender bender wouldn't kill you though… unless she blacked out before running into oncoming traffic… but there wasn't any. For once the street had been relatively empty. Her mind was buzzing with unanswered questions so she decided to go to the one person who had her whole life organized in a little red book.

In this strange limbo she had to take a wild guess as to where she was going. She recognized Lima, OH almost immediately after pulling away from Puck but she had no idea if her friends were here or still in NYC where they belonged. She drove down the familiar streets until she reached the one that held the little red house she knew so well. Rushing out of the still running van, she ran up to the door and knocked as loudly as her cold hands would allow.

'Oh Rachel, what are you doing here?' Tina asked after opening the door. 'Did you bring the kids?'

'Tina, I know this is some elaborate joke… ha freaking ha, I get it! Now schedule me a flight back to New York and maybe, just maybe, I won't fire you!' Rachel did not expect for Tina to burst into laughter. 'It's not funny Tina! I need to get back! The show needs me!'

'Rachel, I haven't worked for you in ages. You are more than welcome to come in and join me, Kurt, Kurofsky, Blaine and Sebastian for some coffee to sober you up.'

'I'm not drunk! And since when did those four hang out?'

'Well, you're acting like it… especially asking a stupid question like that! You were at Blaine and Sebastian's wedding and for goodness sake you were Kurt's Hag of Honor at his! What has gotten into you? Are you and Puck fighting or something?'

'Blaine and _Sebastian_?'

'Yes Rachel, you set them up remember?'

'No! I had you make reservations for Blaine and _Kurt_ last night!'

'I don't know what's going on but you shouldn't be driving right now. I'm going to call Puck and have him come pick you up.' Tina stated with finality and turned back into her house. There was no way Rachel was going to continue with their game so she headed back to the van and took off towards the home Brody still owned in the area. She doubted he'd be there but she needed a dose of reality.

His house was in the best neighborhood in Lima, the same neighborhood where she had left Puck. The house was beautiful and fit Brody's personality to a tee; large, bold and emotionally unavailable… She crawled up the steep driveway knowing that the road was slick and prayed that she didn't wreck for the second time that day. The van was a trooper and she topped the hill with a large sigh of relief. That relief was even greater when she saw that Brody's car was in the open garage. She practically ran to the door and didn't even bother knocking, just threw it open and ran inside. The sight she found was nothing that she expected.

'Hey Rach!' Brody greeted happily as he sat completely nude at the piano. That wasn't unusual. The man knew he had the body of Adonis and had no problem showing it off. The sight that startled her was the equally nude Jesse St. James who stood with a giant smile on his face and a hand on Brody's shoulder.

'W-what's going on?' She asked, her cheeks bright red with embarrassment. Both boys looked at her as if she had grown a third head.

'What do you mean Rachel?'

'Why are you here Jesse… I didn't think you knew my _boyfriend_.'

'You're boyfriend? Last I checked you dumped me for your _soul mate…_' Brody answered, his voice laced with annoyance.

'What?! Oh my God I'm losing my mind! That explains this… all of this.' Her eyes filled with tears as she fell into the chair next to the door.

'Honey, did you drink too much eggnog?' Jesse cooed causing her to glare and practically growl.

'No! I don't drink eggnog! It has eggs and I'm fucking vegan! YOU should remember that!'

'Wow, hold grudges much? I was just making a joke because you don't seem like yourself.' Jesse snapped and walked out of the room.

'Rachel, what's going on? What has you freaking out? You don't seem like your usual happy self.'

'I don't know… I swear that I was dating you this morning and I was headed to practice in New York but then I got in a fender bender and hit my head… '

'Want Jesse to take a look at it?'

'Why would I do that? Has he played a doctor on TV?' She asked sarcastically and Brody snorted.

'I'm calling Puck. If you don't remember the two years while Jesse was studying to be a nurse then you need to go home and get some rest.' She didn't fight it this time, she just sat in the chair staring helplessly at her hands while Brody called Puck.

'Yeah she's here… nah man, she said she doesn't remember the Dark Ages… alright, will do!' He snapped the phone shut and walked back over to the tiny brunette. Pushing her hair behind her ear, he grabbed her hand and squeezed.

'What d-did Noah say?' She whispered.

'He told me you hit your head pretty hard and that he's worried about you. Told me that I needed to make sure you didn't leave and also that I better put on some pants before he gets here.' He finished with a chuckle and Rachel nodded.

'I'm scared.'

'Why Rach?'

'Because I thought this was some elaborate joke because I didn't want to celebrate Hanukkah this year; but now I suddenly live in Lima with Noah and I have no memory of it. I'm scared that I'm going crazy and I'm scared that Noah's going to get hurt… emotionally.'

'Why don't you let me worry about that and you just worry about getting better.' Puck's voice soothed as he stepped through the door. Rachel jumped a little in her seat, not expecting him to be there already. 'And Brody, put on some fucking pants dude…' He gave Brody a quick intricate handshake and turned back to Rachel.

'That was fast…'

'Well, I've been driving around town looking for you so I was close by already. I was hoping you'd headed back home.'

'Noah…' She cried, breaking down in his arms as all of her fear rushed over her. Puck just held her tight, rocking her back and forth gently and rubbing soothing circles over her back.

'I promise that I'll help you through this Rachel… I fucking promise.' He whispered to her, his voice thick with emotion. 'Can I take you home now or better yet, can I take you to the hospital so we can see what's going on?' She nodded against his chest and let him lift her carefully out of the chair. He shot a nod to Brody as he led her out to his truck.

'Nice truck.' Rachel commented once she was buckled in.

'Uhm… thanks.' He said awkwardly, unable to tell her that it was a gift from her for their latest anniversary. She ignored the sadness in his voice and decided that she'd keep quiet until they learned more about her condition. The silence was deafening by the time they reached the hospital but neither bothered to break it. Instead, they pulled up to the hospital and Rachel waited patiently for Puck to run around the truck and help her out. He held her hand as they walked in and they immediately made a b-line to a doctor that was standing with his back turned near a vending machine.

'Yo, Jake!' Puck called out as they neared. Rachel let out a shocked noise as Puck's handsome younger brother turned around and gave them his signature child-like smile.

'Hey guys! What's up? How are my beast-like brother and beautiful sister-in-law?' The younger man immediately wrapped Rachel up in his arms and planted a large kiss on her forehead.

'Ow!' She said reflectively, immediately regretting it when he set her down and looked at her with the same worried look Puck had had a few hours before.

'I'm sorry Rach! What happened?'

'I hit her with the truck.' Puck answered causing Jake to widen his eyes in shock.

'You hit her with the truck?!'

'Shit, I meant that I rear ended her with the truck! My bad… listen, she hit her head and she's having some uhm… memory problems… can you take a look at it?'

'Oh Jesus dude, yeah I'll check it out.' He replied, his hand rubbing his chest before carefully leading Rachel through some double doors and forcing her to sit on a bed in one of the rooms. 'So Rach, what's the last thing you remember?'

'Well… uhm… I left Tina at the office with the request to tell my dads that I had to skip dinner tonight because my director wanted us to practice through Hanukkah. I was driving down my street, almost to my apartment when I heard screeching tires and someone hit me from behind. I hit my head against the steering wheel and when I woke up Noah was there helping me.'

'What play are you practicing for?' He asked cautiously with a wrinkle between his eyebrows in obvious concern.

'Les Miz of course…'

'Holy fucking Matzah balls, Batman.' Jake cursed; his eyes wide again in shock. 'Seriously Rae, you don't remember anything after that?' She shook her head and looked down at her hands. 'You don't remember Caroline and Ezra or the Christmahanukkah disaster?'

'Who's Caroline?' She asked nervously… she remembered Noah saying something about having dinner with kids and the name was an eerie coincidence.

'Caroline is our 8 year old daughter.' Puck answered, his face was pained and pale. Rachel thought she was going to throw up. This was too much. 'She and her twin brother Ezra were born on February 6th, the same night Les Miz opened.'

'I can't handle this…' Rachel cried, wishing more than anything that the world would right itself and she'd be back in New York practicing her performance or better yet; she wished a giant hole would open up and swallow her whole.

'Listen Rach, I've heard of this sort of amnesia before and from my studies I know that it's usually short lived. I'm not going to say it's going to be easy but I think that you'll be back to your old self before the twins turn 9.'

'Which old self is that Jake; the one I remember or this 'New Rachel' that has a family and a husband and lives in Lima fucking Ohio?!' She screamed in frustration causing both boys to cringe, one in fear and the other in heartache.

'It won't seem like that once the memories start coming back Rach. For now, go home and get some sleep. Hopefully being around the kids will spark something and help speed up the process. If not and you guys need me to, Marley and I can take the kids until you're doing better. Just keep positive and make sure not to strain yourself and if things become too much take a time out. Our family may be small and kinda crazy but we're all going to be here for you and our friends will be too.' Jake gave her a soft smile and pulled her into another hug, one full of support and love.

'Thank you.' She whispered and pulled away. There was one person that she needed at the moment and when she spotted him she realized just how difficult this was going to be on all of them. Puck was sitting in a chair, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. She watched as his body shook with sobs that she knew she had caused. She knelt down in front of him and let him pull her against his body. He buried his head against her neck and continued with his sobs, holding onto her as if she'd vanish if he let go.

'I'm so fucking sorry Rach… so fucking sorry…' He choked.

'It's not your fault Noah. Do not blame yourself for this. It was an accident and I know that you'll help me…' She didn't know what she thought he'd help with. To be honest it felt like one of those cheesy Lifetime movies that in the end would teach her a lesson about the spirit of Hanukkah or something; but for Noah it wasn't. For this Noah it was his life. She was his wife and had apparently built a life with him, one that would continue to try and move forward despite the fact that she wasn't really there. She had to feel terrible for being the cause of his life falling apart. 'M-maybe if I get some sleep I'll wake up _better_…' She added, hoping it would give him some hope. He nodded and wiped his face with his sleeve and helped Rachel off the floor. He pulled her in for a kiss to the top of her head and led her out of the room with a quick thank you to his brother.

'Are you hungry babe?' He asked as they took off towards the house.

'Thank you Noah but I think that sleep will be more beneficial to my condition. I find the idea of sustenance to be quite unbecoming right now.' She answered trying to keep her tone light. He let out a chuckle and reached for her hand. The simple gesture of his fingers lacing with her own sent a wave of comfort through her and she practically sighed with relief.

'You must still be living in New York in that brain of yours… you're back to talking like you swallowed a dictionary.' He stated playfully, explaining his small bout of laughter. She rolled her eyes and swatted him as if they were back in high school and he was teasing her for her vast vocabulary. They continued home, hearts and minds still heavy but spirits lifted slightly. Pulling into the driveway, Rachel felt her nerves bubble up and she couldn't help but turn to Noah and ask the questions she had floating through her head.

'Are Caroline and Ezra here? I don't want to worry them… I know I would be really hurt if my dad or daddy didn't recognize me or remember me.'

'They are, my mom brought them by and stayed when I told her that something was wrong. But Rach, there's more you need to know before we go inside.' She nodded, having assumed there was more that she would need to be told. 'Caroline and Ezra will automatically know that something is wrong, they're pretty damn receptive. They will listen when I explain that you need time and I'll tell them that you'll be a little off for a little while… what I'm more concerned about is the fact that… shit Rach… we have six kids.' Rachel's mouth fell open at his words.

'Six?!'

'Yeah… Ezra and Caroline are eight years old, Micah is six, Melody is five, David is three and our daughter Lyric is one and a half.'

'Okay… Ezra, Caroline, M-Micah, Melody…'

'David and Lyric.' He finished, recognizing the struggle in her eyes to remember. She nodded and took a deep breath.

'Micah and Melody may pick up on something being wrong but I know for a fact that David and Lyric won't. David is a momma's boy and wants to be with you all of the time. I don't think I'll be able to keep him away to give you space and Lyric is very particular for a baby… she has a routine and if we stray from it she gets pissed.'

'What's our routine?' She asked softly, her voice full of wonder.

'I think the nightly routine is the most important for her… the two of us give the babies their bath as a team and then I dress Lyric and you dress David. After baths we put Lyric down in her crib and go sing to David and read him a story. Once he's out we go back into the nursery and you sing to her…' He choked up a bit at the memories of nights past, working together in harmony as if it was the easiest thing in the world. 'She uhm… she likes me to sing during the day but you're all she wants at night. Then we tuck her in and go get the others ready for bed.'

'I can do that…' She said sweetly, a warmth filling her heart at the thought of seeing her own children; something that she had always wanted but hadn't worked towards. He smiled happily at her and gave a quick nod.

'I know baby… you're an amazing wife and mom.' It was Rachel's turn to get misty eyed. She could feel the love he had for her radiating from every pore of his being. 'Ready?' She nodded, afraid words would fail her and together they got out of the truck and headed for the door.

Their house was beautiful. It was large with personality just like its inhabitants but was also regal and held a sophistication that Rachel didn't expect. It felt warm as they walked through the huge oak doors and she was immediately taken by the coziness of their living room; the smell of cookies wafting through the air and glittery blue Hanukkah decorations adorning the fire place. It was everything Rachel had ever dreamed for her future all bundled up and handed to her like a present. The sound of tiny feet bounding down the stairs added to the ambiance and she looked up to see a tiny little boy, head full of curls and eyes sparkling with excitement.

'Mammmaaaaa!' He shrieked, his face lighting up at the sight of her. Rachel couldn't help the tears that weld up in her eyes as she knelt down and opened her arms for him to run into. He let out a giggle that she swore sounded like angels singing and threw himself against her chest. She pulled him up into her arms as she stood and found herself studying him intently as his chubby hands squeezed her cheeks. He looked exactly how she pictured Noah looking at that age… chubby cheeks, deep set, intense hazel eyes and a strong brow. His hair was the cutest thing she'd ever seen, wild and curly and the same color as hers. He gave her a crooked grin and nestled his head against her shoulder.

'Miss you momma…' He stated quietly and she found herself kissing his face over and over again wherever she could reach.

'Missed you too Sweet David…' She felt Noah's arm wrap around her and she looked up to him, trying to convey that she still had no memory but that she really, really wanted it. He seemed to understand but still pulled her in for a gentle kiss. The minute their mouths met, the intense feeling Rachel had felt since she walked through the door peaked and she found her tears pouring down her cheeks. Two little hands quickly wiped them away.

'Why are you sad Momma?' Her son pouted, his own eyes filling with tears.

'I'm not sad baby, I'm happy… happy to see you.'

'Oh!' He giggled, 'Love you!'

'I love you too.' She gave him one last squeeze and set him down on his feet. He seemed content and hurried off to the toys thrown around the living room. It wasn't messy in the least but it had the lived-in, family vibe that she had always found appealing. Before she had time to even move from the entrance way, two kids walked in from what looked like the kitchen.

'Hey Ma, can me and Carrie go outside and make a snowman?' The boy that asked was Ezra and he seemed to be the perfect fusion of Puck and Rachel. He had that same curly hair that David had and that she knew Noah had had as a young boy, he had Rachel's facial structure, strong cheekbones and a pointy chin, as well as her large sparkling brown eyes… but luckily he had inherited Noah's perfect nose and apparently, his demeanor and attitude. He was already throwing on a Led Zepplin hoodie and a black beanie that made his curly hair stick out and look even more comedic. A young girl walked out of the kitchen rolling her eyes and again, zero doubt was left in Rachel's mind… this was Caroline. Her hair and eyes were a beautiful chocolate brown, her lips pouty and always lifting at the corners like she was going to break into a Puckerman grin at any moment, and the perfect nose that instead of taking away from the beauty of her face (like Rachel felt hers did), emphasized it. She was beautiful and seemed to float with grace. She was feminine like her mother but Rachel could see that if given the right circumstance, her daughter would be tough and strong.

'Please Ezzy, use proper English. Mom, can _Ezzy and I_ please go outside and play in the snow. I know its quite cold but it happens to be prime weather conditions for a snowman that will actually last over an extended period of time.' Caroline had obviously picked up Rachel's diction. Rachel smiled at the twins and looked over at Noah to see what he thought she should say.

'How much homework did you get done at Mimi's?' Puck asked the twins pointedly.

'I finished all of it and began working on a new painting daddy!' Caroline answered first causing her brother to roll his eyes.

'Ezzy?'

'I got my math homework done, my English paper started and I worked really hard on the song I'm learning.'

'What song is it?' Rachel asked, unable to hold back her curiosity. Ezra looked taken aback for a moment before cautiously answering.

'The song you helped me pick out… for dad.' He looked crestfallen. 'A-are you okay mom? You seem different…'

'I… I'm sorry Ezra.'

'Hey, since you guys did such an awesome job with your homework, you guys play outside for two hours but then I need you to come back in and help me get ready for dinner tonight… deal?' Puck asked before the kids could question her further.

'Deal!' They answered in unison and ran for their coats, hats and scarves.

'Oh Daddy! I forgot, Mimi said that Melody is sick.' Ezra added as he ran out the door. Puck groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Rachel grabbed his hand and squeezed trying to convey that she was there to help even if she had no idea what she was doing.

'Come on Rach, let's go introduce you to the rest of the clan and then we'll get you to bed. I have to start cooking soon if I plan on being able to feed everyone tonight.' Rachel nodded and followed him upstairs where the rest of the kids were. He led Rachel into a room off the hallway that had a door decorated in gold stars and pink music notes with a large 'M' hung in the middle.

'Hey Baby Girl…' Puck whispered as they walked through the doorway. There was a small girl with long brown hair that was extremely curly and bushy. It swamped her and made her look even smaller than she actually was. She had the covers pushed off and Rachel could see her little pink flannel pajamas that were covered in purple glitter and were twisted around her body showing her tummy and one of her legs as if she had been tossing and turning restlessly. She opened her eyes slowly and rubbed her eyes in the most adorable way before giving Puck and Rachel a sad smile. It was obvious the little girl was sick by the way her eyes were rimmed with red and the nose she had inherited from Rachel (poor thing) was stuffy.

'Daddy… I'm sick.' She pouted as she reached her hands out so that he would go to her bed and pick her up. He did just that and held the little girl in his arms, rocking her back and forth. 'Sing to me Daddy…. Please' Rachel watched as he smiled at his daughter and began singing.

**May God bless and keep you always  
May your wishes all come true  
May you always do for others  
And let others do for you  
May you build a ladder to the stars  
And climb on every rung  
May you stay forever young  
Forever young, forever young  
May you stay forever young.**

His voice was full of love and Rachel couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. He looked over to her as he faded off on the last line and gave her a soft smile. She smiled back and looked down to see that their daughter had fallen back to sleep and was snoring softly. She walked over and pushed the small girl's wild hair away from her face and gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead.

'She has the biggest heart in the world.' He whispered and Rachel could only nod. She could see it. 'Alright Sweet Angel, I'll be back in to check on you in a little while.' He whispered to Melody and laid her back in bed, tucking her in snuggly, placing a ratty stuffed rabbit in her arms and giving her a kiss on her cheek. They turned off the lights that had been left on and quietly shut the door. 'Four down, two to go.' He playfully stated as they walked down the hallway. She leaned in to his side and let him wrap his arm around her as they headed into what Rachel assumed was the music room. There were album covers on every wall, an assortment of instruments and even what looked like a set up for recording. Just off the room was a smaller one. In this one was another little boy. He had a short Mohawk much like the one his father kept in high school and his father's nose but everything else about him screamed Rachel. He was tiny for six and the guitar he held on his lap dwarfed him as he struggled with the chords. He had his little tongue poking out of his mouth as he focused on the sheet music in front of him and Rachel had to fight back a giggle. Noah had teased her relentlessly when they were young about how she couldn't think with her tongue in her mouth and it looked like her son had developed the same habit.

'Don't hurt yourself Micah.' Puck joked as they walked into the room with him. He looked startled by their presence but gave them a huge smile that resembled Rachel's to a tee. 'What are you working on?'

'Pink Floyd.' The boy answered with a shrug as if it wasn't any big deal. Rachel wanted to tell him what a big accomplishment that was but refused to say anything in fear that she'd be giving her 'problem' away like she had with Ezra. 'Actually, I'm trying really hard to do a mashup of Pink Floyd's 'Hey You' with 'Through Glass' by Stone Sour… I think I finally got it.'

'Good job Micah, you got somewhere to play it?' Puck asked taking one of the other stools in the room.

'Well… no. I just thought it would be a cool thing to have in my back pocket, or maybe I'll post it online on our blog.' He shrugged again and Puck looked up to Rachel with a wink. It was his way of telling her that he'd show it to her later.

'That's awesome, if you want… maybe I can show it to my old boss and see what he says.' At that Micah's eyes grew wide with excitement and he jumped up to hug his father.

'Really daddy?!'

'Yeah, I'm sure you'd have to wait until you were older but they may be able to figure something out for you.' He used his finger to nudge the boys chin and all three of them beamed. It was clear that all of their children cherished music just as much as Puck and Rachel did. 'So, Ma's gonna take a nap, Melody's sick, Ezra and Caroline are making a snowman… what do you say to you and I having a quick jam session before I go start dinner?' The boy nodded happily. 'Sweet, I'm gonna go check on Lyric and put your mom to bed then I'll be back.' The two did some secret handshake and the couple headed out.

'He's talented.' Rachel stated simply once they had left Micah.

'Hell yeah he is. The kid schools me on the guitar and just wait to you hear him sing.' Puck's face was full of pride as he spoke about their son. Honestly, he had that look when he spoke of all of their children. 'Lyric is probably napping right now so we'll just peak in and check on her.' Rachel nodded and followed Puck through another door. This one wasn't decorated except for a glittery purple 'L' hanging on the door like Melody's 'M.' The room was adorable and immediately brought a smile to her face. The walls were a beautiful turquoise color but what took her breath away was that it was all glitter. It must have been a wall paper or something because the whole room sparkled. There was a white crib centered in the room with soft white fabric hanging from the ceiling like a canopy. She walked to the crib and peaked inside to find a small girl, hair just as curly as her siblings, with pouty lips and the signature Puckerman smirk. She was sleeping peacefully and Rachel couldn't pull her eyes away. The baby moved and let out a tiny snore followed by a faint toot that had Puck chuckling next to her as he brought his arm around her waist. She couldn't help but giggle along side him and was forced to hide her face in his chest to avoid waking the baby.

'She apparently takes after you.' Puck joked quietly. She turned to him and looked appalled.

'Excuse me?!' She stage whispered. 'How does her gas and snoring have anything to do with me?'

'Please babe, we've been together for almost a decade… you can't play innocent with me. I know all of the amazing things there are to know about you AND all the nasty ones…' He grinned mischievously and she swatted him. 'Don't be mad at me, you're the one that… and I quote… _whispers in your panties_ every time you eat anything spicy or dairy. Although, it's less of a whisper and more of an air horn…' He added playfully causing her to zero in on him with a glare.

'Oh please! I may not remember much but I certainly remember what happens to _you_ when chili is involved… and let's not forget the disgusting things that would happen in that poor choir room after Sloppy Joe day. There's a reason you're not allowed to use a lighter anymore Mr. I-Light-My-Farts-On-Fire.' She scolded as they walked out of the room to keep the baby from waking up. They both fell into a fit of laughter as soon as the door was shut. It was nice. It felt like they were back in high school, teasing each other until they both died with laughter, never really feeling any sort resentment for the words said during the banter. As their laughter died down, Puck reached out and pulled her to his chest, moving her hair out of her face so he could lean down and placed a long, romantic kiss to her lips. She felt like every nerve ending on her body was on fire and wondered briefly why she ever thought she could live without the feeling of his body against her own. He pulled away long before she was ready but gave her the look that said he didn't want it to end either.

'We better get you to bed Babe… Santana and Finn are coming over with their girls and you add that to our group of eight plus Jake and Marley and I'll never be done cooking.' He gave her another quick kiss to her forehead and directed her to their room.

'Santana and Finn?' She asked as she dug through what he had told her was her drawer. The lacy underwear and old nursing bras revealed he was right.

'Yeah, they got together around the same time we did.' She nodded and began changing out of her jeans and into a pair of silky red pajamas.

'I told Finn years ago that he and Santana would be great together but he thought that I was crazy and said that I was not a good judge of relationships because I had tried so many times with him.' She chirped and smiled when he bent over in laughter. 'It is clear though that I got something right.' She added and rubbed his back.

'Yeah we did…' he smiled down at her and pulled her in for another quick kiss. 'You look hot in those pajamas.' She smiled and looked down at the cute pair she had found. It was a button up, long sleeved red silk top with a pair of super short red silk bottoms.

'I have good taste!' She giggled and ran to the huge bed and had to practically climb in order to get on. He laughed at the way she struggled like a child but headed her way to assist her best he could. By the time he reached her she had already fought her way up so he simply pulled her feet to force her to lay down and grabbed the blankets to tuck her in like he had done with Melody. He dipped down for one final kiss and an 'I love you' and left her alone to get some rest.

It was the first chance she'd had to truly digest what was going on and she wasn't sure what to do or feel. On one hand she loved this life… her children were beautiful and Puck had been amazing with her. It surprised her how comfortable she had felt with him… how natural the two of them were together; not to mention the way that her body seemed to respond to him in a way that she had never experienced before. She could feel the love of her family and it left a warm fuzzy feeling deep down inside. But on the other hand, she had a life back in New York. She had Broadway at her feet and had finally accomplished all of her dreams. Leaving her dreams to be held up in a house in Lima with a half dozen kids was frightening. She promised herself years ago that she'd never, under any circumstances, move back to Lima. Hell, even when she couldn't afford _Ramen Noodles_, she still refused to come back. There was definitely not any way that after all her hard work she'd give it up for the life of Susy Homemaker… Before she could dwell anymore on the situation she felt the weight of the day hit her and suddenly it was impossible to stay awake. She drifted off to sleep with images of curly haired kids, hazel eyes and snowy streets in New York City swimming in her head.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel woke up to the sound of Christmas songs being sung loudly downstairs. She lifted her head off the pillow only to slam it back down in frustration. This only served to jumpstart the throbbing from her accident. She groaned and rolled over and up, dangling her feet off the bed and yawning. If she was going to be in this weird alternate reality she would need to do everything she could to make this as normal as possible for the kids that considered her their mother. She stood and yawned, relieved that she wasn't sore from the accident. The only pain she felt was in her head and she was certain that it had been nonexistent before she hit it again. Glancing at the clock revealed it was already six in the evening and if her memory served her correct, they were expecting guests in a couple of hours. In the same glance she noticed a picture of her, Puck, Finn and Santana standing together in front of her and Puck's home. There was snow on the ground and her swollen stomach told her that she was about to have the twins (there was no way there was only one baby in there). It looked like a Hanukkah celebration based on the elegant outfits they were all wearing. She walked over to her closet and opened it wide, determined to find something beautiful for the night. There were more pairs of jeans in the closet than she had ever imagined owning but other than that it seemed that the majority of her wardrobe was… well, beautiful. She looked at the large section dedicated to dresses and pulled every blue and white one out she could find; it was Hanukkah after all. They were all gorgeous and she found herself having a sort of fashion show in front of the large ornate floor length mirror. The first one she held up was short with short sleeves and a basic scoop neck. What appealed to Rachel was the fact that the entire dress was covered in blue sequins that glittered and shined in the light. It would look amazing with a pair of leggings and the boots she spotted that were leather and would hit just above her knee. The second dress she held up was much more subdued and channeled the high school Rachel Berry. She couldn't help but smile at the dress, the tight bodice with a vintage flair to the bottom. It had a wide white band around the middle and even had her favorite heart shaped neckline. She shook her head and laid it back on the bed knowing that it wasn't going to be worn. The third was definitely a contender. It was super sparkly just like the first she had picked but this one was white and had long sleeves and a heart-shaped neckline. It fell just below her knees and she knew it would look fabulous with a pair of heels. She looked up in the mirror one last time before noticing something else entirely… she had aged slightly but what was more shocking was the way her hair ended at her jaw line. It was choppy and adorable but way different and bolder than anything she had considered doing before. It made her feel empowered and helped her decide on her outfit. She was smiling as she gathered everything she needed (complete with a matching set of black lace undergarments) and skipped into the bathroom for a hot shower.

An hour later she walked out a new woman. She had blow dried her hair upside down and even put a little product in it so that it looked fluffy and hot. Her eyes were smoky with a hint of silver glitter and her lips shiny but nude. She had chosen the blue dress and gone with the black leggings and tall boots. She topped it all off with a beautiful ornate crystal necklace that sparkled along with the dress. She felt like a million bucks and couldn't wait to see Puck. She knew beyond a doubt that he'd love it. As she neared the bottom of the stairs she could hear a loud chorus of Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree coming from the kitchen. She quietly entered the room and watched as Puck sang into a spoon with a giggling Lyric on his hip, Ezra playing 'drums' with two forks on a pie pan, Carrie doing a ballerina twirl around the room, Micah played air guitar with vigor and Melody sat wrapped in a blanket with a sleepy David leaning against her. The sight made Rachel's eyes tear up again and she couldn't help the way that she fell in love with each and every one of them. David was the first to notice her and made a strange sound from his lips like he was trying to whistle but only managed to spit. Puck looked at him briefly before following his son's line of sight to Rachel. His eyes widened and a grin broke out.

'Holy hell Babe… you look smokin!' She chuckled and looked down nervously. They were all in the casual clothes they had been wearing earlier and it made her feel even more out of place.

'It smells wonderful in here.' She stated trying to calm her own nerves.

'Thanks Babe, it's pretty much ready. I'll be able to finish the rest once our guests arrive.'

'Mom, you have to help me get ready _now_! Daddy told Ezzy and I what happened to your head so I have to show you my new dress since you won't remember it!' Carrie said hopping up and down excitedly. Melody looked up and sniffled but nodded. She looked at Puck for reassurance and he gave her a comforting smile.

'I'll get the boys ready if you wanna get the girls? I'm crap with the hair shit.' He shrugged and rushed around to give her a kiss. 'You really do look great Rae… uhm… did the nap help?'

'I'm sorry Noah but no… I do feel like I'm in a better condition to handle new information though.' She looked at him, eyes full of hope. He would be lying if he said he wasn't sad but it did look like she was in much better spirits so it was hard for him to be upset about it.

'Come on Momma…' Carrie insisted and she felt herself being pulled towards the stairs again.

'Uh… you guys forgot someone!' Puck called out and all three girls stopped in their tracks causing the boys to laugh. Rachel turned around with a guilty smile and reached out for Lyric. For a moment she was overwhelmed by the feeling of having her daughter in her arm. Her daughter had immediately nuzzled her head into Rachel's shoulder and she couldn't help but kiss her daughters head over and over again like she had David's when he had done the same. She felt the tugging on her hand and looked down to see Melody and Carrie looking up at her expectantly.

'So you guys know about my 'condition?' They both looked up at her with eye brows lifted like their father was notorious for.

'Dad told us. He can't keep anything a secret.' Carrie added causing Melody and Rachel to laugh.

'Hey! I heard that!' Puck shouted from the kitchen.

'Come on girls, we'll go upstairs so certain dads can't EAVESDROP!' She called back loudly and they all ran the stairs quickly, laughing as they stumbled into Carrie's room. Melody took off towards her room but returned in record time with her dress and a cough from exerting herself. Rachel rubbed her back until the girl calmed down and was able to breath properly again. Meanwhile, Carrie had dug into the back of her closet and pulled out her own dress. She quickly stripped out of her jeans and sweater and pulled the dress over her head while Rachel helped Melody out of her pajamas and slipped her dress on. Carrie's dress was sparkly white with a blue sash and a pretty blue sequin design that covered the trim. Melody's was bright blue with white polka dots and a white sash. They both also had bright blue boleros that matched each other and their individual dresses. 'Wow girlies, those dresses are beautiful!' Rachel complimented with pure honesty. They both looked happy and adorable in the coordinating dresses.

'Our shoes match too.' Melody said, her nose completely congested and making her even cuter than Rachel thought possible.

'We need to put our tights on and then do our hair!' Carrie clapped and grabbed both sets out of her drawer. Rachel must have made a face because she shook her head as she handed Melody hers. 'Melody rips tights so I keep them safe.' She shrugged and began the hard work of putting hers on. Within seconds she looked over and noticed Melody had already gotten stuck in her own. She set Lyric down on the floor next to Carrie and helped Melody into hers to avoid any ripping. Soon the four girls were gathered in Lyric's room putting the baby into a blue ruffled dress and black shiny Mary Jane's. The little girl cooed the whole time and seemed like a very mild tempered baby. They all sang Christmas songs (despite the fact that Christmas was still weeks away) and danced around the rooms as they prepped for their night.

Thirty minutes later all four headed back downstairs to check on the boys. Sure enough, all four were sitting on the couch completely ready. They all wore matching blue button up shirts, black slacks and blue, white, and black ties; all topped off with their black yarmulkes. David kept wiggling in his seat and reaching up to play with his tie only to have his hand stopped every time by Puck who looked like he was watching television. He must be used to the restless little boy. Ezzy and Micah were behaving but Rachel could see that they were as uncomfortable as their little brother. They were boys and just like their father, so it didn't surprise Rachel any. She remembered many arguments with Puck during high school when he was forced to wear a tie for a performance. She'd catch him loosening it or taking it off completely and she'd go all 'Crazy Berry' on him. Eventually he stopped fighting but he never stopped sharing his opinion about how awful and un-badass ties were. She would laugh and straighten it for him before telling him that he was being a baby and sending him on his way. Now, all these years later he was sitting there with the same crease in his forehead meaning he hated every second in the offending garment but would be damned if his boys didn't look every bit the gentlemen for the event. Rachel cleared her throat and all four turned their heads in unison.

'Wow, you guys clean up nice!' Ezra joked earning him a quick glare from his father.

'You all look beautiful!' Puck stated once he'd turned back. All four of the girls were wearing the same color of blue but each one was clearly representing their personalities. It was funny how he noticed things like that. Before he'd just scoff and say Rachel looked hot. Now that he had made her his wife and had started a family that contained _three_ mini Rachel's he realized the importance of what they wore. The teenage Puck would have kicked him in the nads.

He stood up and walked over to the group giving each one a kiss and picking up Melody who was starting to look a bit droopy because of her cold. She was fighting though… fighting to be a part of the festivities and not let the cold keep her from anything. She definitely was her mother…

'You boys look handsome too!' She said giving Puck a wink. He smiled at her and pulled her into a deeper kiss that made all of the kids erupt in gagging noises. Puck and Rachel started laughing while their lips were still joined, unable to hold it back. Their kids were too much. 'Alright, alright… picture time!' Rachel cocked her head and gave him a confused look but he just blew it off and went about getting his equipment.

It turned out that Puck had become quite the photographer and it was their annual tradition to take a series of Hanukkah photos to send out with their annual 'Christma-Hanukkah' Cards. They posed together inside in front of the fire place first and were forced to take around 20 pictures because there was always at least one child that needed to sneeze or got fussy… or the best of all, the epic disaster that was Ezzy pantsing poor little David that caused the little boy to break down in tears and Ezra to get a quick scolding from his father. Finally giving up, they headed for their coats to take some pictures outside. The boys all had matching dark blue coats cut in a military style, while the girls had matching white Burberry pea coats. They all had matching bright blue plaid scarves and Rachel found herself curious as to just how she had tamed The Noah Puckerman into wearing matching outfits.

The ground was covered in snow, Ezra and Carrie's snowman standing proudly in the yard with the blue and white lights casting a warm glow. Rachel felt like she was in a dream… a perfect dream. Just as they wrapped up their outdoor photos a bright red Lexus pulled up and into the driveway. The kids squealed in excitement but Rachel felt her little magic moment ending and the realization that she was about to spend the next few hours trying to act normal caused her heart to pound. Luckily, two strong arms wrapped around her waist and she felt Puck's warm breath against her neck. She had to fight back a shiver when he began to speak.

'I warned them baby… everyone knows. You don't have to put on an act for anyone. If you have a question, just ask and someone will answer.' He ended with a chuckle and a kiss to her temple before he took off towards the car that she assumed held Finn, Santana and their children. Sure enough, before Puck could make it to them, the driver's side door opened and Finn got out. The boys did an intricate handshake and Rachel found herself smiling wide as Micah and David went running to him and he welcomed them both with open arms. The girls followed closely behind and he ended up in a giant group hug with the Puckerman children. Lyric began to get restless in Rachel's arms and she realized that the soon to be toddler was jealous that she wasn't a part of the group.

'Hey Rach!' Finn called out waving at her with a big grin on his face. As she was about to reply she heard the other door open.

'A little help here would be nice!' Finn looked slightly embarrassed for being called out for not being courteous. He practically ran around the car and it became clear why Santana had yelled for him. She was _very_ pregnant. 'Hey Rachel! Any chance we could steal all of your strong boys to help us with the shit in the trunk?' The Latina immediately cringed at the chorus of 'Ommmm!' coming from the backseat of the car.

'Don't worry, mommy will put _another_ dollar into the swear jar.' Finn said as he opened the back doors. Santana looked up at Puck and Rachel and shrugged. Obviously she was the _sole_ contributor to that fund. Two identical girls with long black hair in ringlets, big shiny brown eyes and matching smirks got out of the car in their simple, white dresses. Rachel's smile grew as she watched the two grab hands and walk towards the group together.

The boys immediately went to work grabbing a hoard of items from the trunk and carefully made their way into the house. Santana manage to get the four girls that were now linked arm in arm to head into the house behind the boys and finally made her way to Rachel.

'Hey Chica, how's the brain damage?' She asked playfully. Rachel laughed and grabbed her friend's arm to help her up the slippery path to the house, careful to make sure that Lyric was secure on her hip.

'I still don't remember anything… I just feel like I'm living in this alternate reality where I live in a television sitcom.' She answered honestly.

'Oh, don't worry about that… you have always felt like that.' Santana told her bluntly. 'Our lives are so different from the way they were a decade ago that it's impossible to get used to it. I mean, for one we live in Lima, Ohio AND we're best friends. Life cannot get anymore surreal than that!' They walked into the house and stripped themselves of their coats. Rachel admired the way that although Santana looked like she could go into labor at any moment, she seemed to glow in her black lace dress. It startled her when her friend grabbed her back and cringed in discomfort. 'Damn Braxton Hicks…' She huffed and made her way further into the room leaving Rachel standing by the door in surprise. She quickly regained her composure and followed behind.

The four girls were now huddled together beneath the fireplace playing with the baby dolls that they'd somehow managed to bring down from their rooms before their mothers had even made it into the house. Ezra and Micah were back on the couch watching an old cartoon and doing their best to keep David from removing his tie. It really did look like a moment out of a T.V. show. She smiled and set Lyric down with the girls as she left them to their own devices and walked into the kitchen where the adults had gathered. Finn and Puck were laughing at a joke that she had missed while pouring the food from pots into special dishes. Rachel reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out her phone, determined to get their interaction on camera. They looked up as she took the photo and started making faces at her. After another few pictures they all fell into a fit of laughter and she put her phone away.

'So Rach, how are ya feeling? Any better?' Finn asked casually, trying not to make her feel uncomfortable.

'I feel great actually. The bump on my head is still sore but other than the memory issue I'm pretty good.' She shrugged and helped Santana into a chair.

'So how bad is the memory thing? Puck just gave us basics… _Rae in accident. Can't remember shit. Don't be mean_.' She recounted the text message he had sent her and Rachel just shook her head and smiled. Puck was never one for explanations. He always left them up to her.

'Last thing I remember was driving down my street in New York.'

'Holy crap… that was ages ago.' Finn said with wide shocked eyes. They reminded her of the way Jake's had looked at the hospital.

'Yep… six kids ago apparently.' She joked nervously. She noticed Puck's eyes drop to the counter and his shoulders fall a bit. 'I really want to remember… I'm trying.' She added quickly hoping to keep from putting a damper on the night. Luckily just as things got awkward the doorbell rang.

'I'll get it!' Puck said too quickly, making it obvious that he was uncomfortable. As soon as he was out of the room Rachel sighed and dropped her head to the counter.

'Don't worry Rachel, he'll be okay… he's just having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that you don't remember any of your life with him. I know him well enough to know that it's his old insecurities rearing their ugly head.' Santana comforted.

'Why would he be insecure?'

'Are you kidding? You have amnesia but only for the years with him. It's like your brain erased him and suddenly you're the big shot Broadway girl again who he was always afraid would leave him for something better…'

'Oh… but I wouldn't… I… I… God, this isn't fair! It's not fair to me and it's not fair to him! I'm ruining his life! I…' Her words were cut off with a sob that she hadn't been prepared for. She clapped her hand over her mouth and took off towards the set of stairs off the kitchen. Puck walked in just in time to see a quick glimpse of blue glitter from her dress as she ran.

'Fuck!' He yelled and through the towel he had over his shoulder at the counter. Santana and Finn wanted to help but they knew that at this point it would be futile. Instead, Finn helped Santana back out of the chair and the two pat his back as they walked into the living room. Jake, Marley and their newborn daughter Sarah were sitting on the couch, both feeling awkward at having heard Puck's curse.

'He's taking this really badly…' Jake finally said into the silence. The others just nodded and watched the cartoon with the kids.

Puck was angry at himself for reacting poorly. He knew that this was going to take time but they had been having such an amazing evening, he had almost forgotten that his wife no longer remembered her love for him. Tears pooled in his eyes as he slowly climbed the steps towards their room where he knew she was. He fought them back and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. It opened slightly so he grabbed the handle and opened it the rest of the way. Rachel was sitting on the bench at the end of their bed with her head on her knees, her body shaking with her tears. He felt like even more of an asshole.

'I'm so sorry Rach… I shouldn't have reacted like I did…' He apologized, his voice gravely with sadness and worry. She looked up at him with a strange look before jumping to her feet and walking to him.

'Noah, I… I'm the one who should be a-apologizing. I have turned your world upside down and I… I don't know how to make it better.' She cried harder and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest and running his hand up and down her back.

'Rach, it's not your fault. Hell, it literally is _my_ fault. I was the one who slid on the ice and ran into the van… it's _my_ fault you hit your head… it's _my_ fault you don't remember me…' Rachel shook her head in disagreement but didn't say another word. She knew that they'd each blame themselves and there was no way an agreement would be reached. Instead she lifted her hand and kissed him slowly, trying to show him that she really did care for him. They pulled away and gave each other another tight squeeze before he wiped away her tears and grabbed her hand. 'I would really like for you to give me another chance tonight and come have dinner, if it's too overwhelming you don't have to though… I don't want to push you.'

'Noah, I would love to go down there and celebrate Hanukkah with you and those amazing children that are waiting.' She smiled at the happiness that shined from his eyes.

'Jake and Marley are here but there the last of the guests so there's no more explaining the situation or anything… just celebration now.' She nodded and pulled him towards the hallway.

Santana was the first one to see them as they came down the stairs and nudged Finn to wake him up. They had only been waiting about five minutes but when you have twin daughters and a pregnant wife, sleep is something you try and get any opportunity that arrives. He yawned and tried to cuddle back into her side but she just swatted at him and forced him up. Puck and Rachel laughed when they saw him sitting there with his eyes closed and a smile on his face as if he was trying to pretend he was awake.

'Ya better either lay him back down or wake him up completely before he hurts himself like last time.' Puck told Santana. She just rolled her eyes and shook Finn.

'Finn! It's time! The baby's coming!' She shouted next to his ear. The poor man's eyes flew open and he was up of the sofa and headed for her coat in record time. It took all of the adults bursting into laughter for him to realize that she was lying.

'Not cool San… not cool at all.'

Rachel greeted Jake and Marley and couldn't help but swoon over their brand new baby.

'She's beautiful! Congratulations!'

'Thanks Rae…'

'What's her name?'

'It's uhm… Sara Rae Puckerman.' Jake answered, his face pink with a blush. Rachel's head snapped up. 'You were the only one around when Marley went into labor at the mall. I was with Puck in L.A. I had a conference and he had a meeting with his record label. We jumped on a plane as soon as we found out but little Sara here decided that she was ready and practically _fell_ into your hands in the parking lot of the hospital. You've been there for Marley and I since we were kids and you were their for our daughter… it only seemed right that we pay a little homage to it.' Rachel's tears were falling again as she wrapped the couple in her arms… as best she could considered there was a baby in their arms.

'Thank you…' She choked.

'No, thank you.' Marley replied with her own tears in her eyes.

'Alright, that's enough… you guys combined with my pregnancy hormones are making _me_ cry and I'm not okay with that.' Santana interrupted with a huff causing the moment to be broken and all of them to laugh. The girls all wiped their tears and let the boys lead them back into the kitchen. They worked as a team, minus Santana who was useless (her words) and Marley who decided to nurse, and soon dinner was spread out across the table in a stunning display. Puck had done an outstanding job and the smell and sight of the food caused Rachel's and Santana's stomachs to growl simultaneously.

'I'm glad you came back out Rach, it wouldn't have been Hanukkah without you.' Santana teased. 'You feel okay?'

'Yeah, things just get overwhelming sometimes… I mean, it only happened this morning and everything has moved so fast… I just don't get any time to really digest what's going on. But that's enough talking about my stupid head. Why don't you tell me more about you and Finn.' She answered with a waggle of her eyebrows. Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel but couldn't hide her smile.

'I actually flew out to visit you and Puck just after the twins were born. You guys were still living in New York so I decided that it was the perfect vacation. Apparently Finn had decided to meet the twins that particular week too so we ended up sharing your spare bedroom. One thing lead to another and we decided to see each other again when we went back home to Cincinnati. We started going on regular dates and before I knew it, Finn was on his knee in the middle of a field covered with lights. We got married a few months later in the same field and three weeks later we found out I was pregnant with the girls.' She looked up at Finn at the same time he looked over at her and the two shared a sickenly sweet smile. Finn walked out into the living room with a quick wink at his wife and soon was walking back with Lyric in his arms and a swarm of kids following excitedly behind him. They all took the seats that were assigned to them (Puck's idea to keep Rachel from stressing about something _else_).

Puck sat at the head of the table with Rachel to his right and Finn on his left. Santana sat beside Finn, leaning her head against his shoulder, and the rest of the Puckerman/Hudson children sat accordingly. They all grabbed hands without discussion and Rachel waited while Puck began the Jewish prayer.

'Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, hamotzi lehem min ha'aretz.' The entire Puckerman family joined him with the prayer but once it was done, Rachel only felt it appropriate to translate it for the Hudsons.

'Blessed are You, LORD our God, King of the universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth.' She felt Puck squeeze her hand as she finished. Santana cleared her throat and it was clear that they added their own prayer to the Hanukkah routine.

'Thank you God for these thy gifts that we are about to receive. From thy bounty through Christ, our LORD, Amen.' The Hudson's had joined her to recite it and the Puckerman's all seemed to appreciate the integration.

'Can we eat now? I'm starving!' Ezra stated immediately causing them all to laugh and earning him yet another quick scolding from his father.

'Yes, we can eat now but next time, try and have some respect. Prayers are important and we should be cherishing them instead of worrying about how quickly we can get to the goods.'

'Sorry daddy… I'll be better, I promise.'

'Alright, now… let's eat!' Puck rubbed his hands together and everyone immediately went for the bowl in front of them. Dinner was happy chaos… bowls being passed around, kids spilling water on the table, babies unwilling to cooperate with their mothers… but Rachel wouldn't have changed it for the world. It was the best Hanukkah she'd had since she was a child but it left a nagging feeling in her gut. When the kids were finally fed and had run off to play Rock Band in the living room, Rachel decided that she'd simply express her confusion instead of ignoring it.

'Noah, how come my dads aren't here for the first night of celebration? Are they out of town again?' Silence overtook the table immediately and she wished more than the world that she could simply take back her question. The look on Puck's face made it clear that she didn't really want to know the answer and that he hated having to give her the news.

'Rach… uhm… there was an accident… in Israel.' Her heart began to pound out of her chest. The day before they had been sitting in her apartment, telling her about this amazing trip they had booked for the summer… a trip to Israel.

'W-what happened?' She didn't want to know… she really didn't. There was already this strange feeling in her chest like someone had reached in and pulled out her heart, leaving a strange empty feeling that she knew nothing could fill. Puck got out of his chair and squatted next to hers so that he was close enough to hold her. He knew he would need to. Nine years ago he had been there with her when she got the phone call. He almost lost her then. She had stopped talking, stopped eating… stopped functioning. The worst part was that she had just found out about the twins and her doctor kept telling him that if he didn't get her out of her depression she was going to lose them too. 'Please…' she choked and looked at him with pure desperation.

'They were on a bus headed to Rome. The bus driver had been driving for far longer than regulations allowed and fell asleep. No one survived the crash… I'm so sorry baby.' He held her tight as her tears overwhelmed her. She fell against him in despair. Seconds later he scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs as her sobs turned to screams. She fought him to put her down but he held her tighter until they were behind the closed door of their room and gently set her down on the bed. She immediately scrambled to her feet, her hair sticking to the tears that were pouring down her face. She looked around desperately until she spotted her purse and before Puck could register what was happening, she was fighting him to let her through the door.

'I have to go Noah! I have to stop them! They're a-at my apartment RIGHT NOW waiting for me! I'll skip my rehearsal… I'll quit the whole damn show… I just need to stop them!' She screamed as he held her around the waist.

'Baby… please calm down… they're gone… I'm so fucking sorry but we can't bring them back…' Her little hands formed fists and she hit at him blindly, over and over again until her body couldn't take it anymore and she collapsed against him again, grabbing his shirt in her hands and shaking as her legs gave out.

'No, no, no, no, no…' She chanted as he carried her back to bed. He sat down against the headboard fighting back his own tears as he rocked her back and forth and tried to sooth her with comforting words and rubbing his hand over her back. 'I'm so sorry Rachel…'

She cried herself to sleep shortly after. He hated leaving her but he had a house full of people downstairs with six children who were hoping to open their gifts and light the candles. The magic of the evening was gone for him but they wouldn't understand. They hadn't been there for 'The Dark Ages' and as much as it pained him to say, they hadn't met the wonderful men that had raised their mother. By the time they were born, Rachel was able to tell them the happy stories and explain that her dads would have been the best grandpas in the world. He really didn't want the kids to see her like this and it was up to him to make the holiday as wonderful for them as possible.

'Is she okay?' Santana asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head before walking past her and towards his children that were looking at him with worried faces. Apparently Rachel's screams were louder than he expected and they had all heard. He sat down on the floor and motioned them to join him. Carrie immediately climbed into his lap, Melody sat down at his side and grabbed his free hand and Micah and Ezra sat in front of him. David was too little to understand so he was quietly playing with his Tonka truck at Finn's feet and Lyric was slowly falling asleep in Finn's arms.

'Hey kiddos… sorry about that.'

'What's wrong with mommy?' Melody asked shyly. He squeezed her tiny hand and fought back his tears.

'Remember how I told you that Mommy couldn't remember a lot of stuff.' The kids nodded. 'Well, she didn't remember the story about her Dad and Daddy… she asked for them while we were in the dining room and I had to tell her.'

'So she's sad like you were when Nana Connie died?' Micah asked and Puck simply nodded.

'Only it's harder for her because they've been gone a really long time. We all got to say goodbye to Nana Connie and tell her how much we love her. Mommy didn't get to do that with her dads…'

'What do we do?' Carrie had always been the one to take charge of a situation but at this moment she was just as lost as Puck was.

'I don't know Sweetheart. We just need to show Mommy that we love her and that she's not alone. We have to help her be happy again but we can't overwhelm her…'

'Will she get better?' Ezra asked, the usually tough boy had tears falling down his face. It was clear that even though the kids were taking their mother's memory issues well, it was still eating at them.

'I think she will. We just have to be strong for her and be there when she's ready for our help. Now, Mommy would be really sad if she knew that you guys were sad on Hanukkah so let's say a quick prayer for her and then we'll light the candles and you guys can open your gifts.' The kids nodded and grabbed hands. The Puckerman's had made sure that their faith was strong and Puck had never been prouder of his children then he was at that moment. Once the prayer was complete they all stood up and wiped away their tears, determined to continue with the festivities even though Rachel was upstairs. They headed over to the Menorah that Jake was setting on top of the window sill and they bowed their heads again as Puck began the three prayers and Finn and Santana joined them. Puck lit the main candle and allowed Caroline to light the first candle. It was normally Rachel's job but this year it was unspoken that she'd be the one to do it. 'Alright, gift time!' Puck announced trying to sound excited even though his thoughts were on his wife.

'Do you all mind if I join in? Rachel's voice surprised everyone. They all turned to see that she had changed into a pair of bright blue silk pajama pants and a white camisole. She had rid herself of the eye makeup she had been wearing and thrown her short hair into a pony tail on top of her head. She gave them all a sad smile and walked over to Puck, gently pulling him into the kitchen. 'I'm sorry about earlier… I hope I didn't ruin the evening for the kids.' She apologized nervously. He wrapped his arms around her squeezing her tight.

'Don't apologize, babe. You didn't ruin anything. The kids understood what was going on but they'll be happy for you to join if you feel up to it.'

'I'm still sad and in shock but… but I'm their mom and they need me to be a part of this. Plus, my daddies loved Hanukkah, they'd be sad if I spent the whole time held up in the room. They would want me out here with my children.' She gave him a weak smile and let him pull her back out. She sat down cross legged in front of Puck as he took a seat on 'his' recliner. She scooted back so she could feel him against her and held out her hands so the now crawling Lyric could crawl into her lap. She held her close and tried to keep her tears at bay. Soon after, David walked over and plopped down against her, snuggling into her side. It was late so she knew these two were up passed their bedtime, even if she didn't remember ever putting them to bed. Carrie and Ezra took it upon themselves to hand out each of the presents. Santana and Finn had joined the gift giving tradition by giving a gift to Puck and Rachel and vise versa so now each one of them had a present each. Once the gifts were handed out, Carrie, Ezra and Micah headed over to sit around their mother, wanting to be close to her and show her love like their father had told them. Rachel smiled down at all of them as they stared down at their gifts waiting for their turn patiently.

'Alright, ready… set… go!' Puck yelled and they were all off. The sounds of the kids' squeals of delight helped bring Rachel out of the darkness she had been feeling. She watched as each one of 'her' children revealed box sets of karaoke CDs. Carrie had received a series of Broadway related collections from Les Miz to Rocky Horror Picture Show; Ezra got 100 Greatest Rock songs collection; Melody's was all Pop; Micah received the All Time Greatest Karaoke songs that ranged from Neil Diamond to Alan Jackson and little David got the best Children's songs. All of the kids were ecstatic. Even David was jumping up and down when he found out that they were songs that he could sing on the machine. Apparently he hadn't been allowed to join before. Puck opened his box that was tall and narrow and revealed a set of four microphone stands for their karaoke set up.

'Awesome!' He stated happily as he pulled them out of the box. They all looked at Rachel who had yet to open hers.

'Open it Rach, you'll love it.' Santana prodded. She nervously opened the box, feeling weird about opening a gift she didn't feel belonged to her but then smiled widely when she saw the shiny microphone that was nestled in the box. It had white rhinestones covering the base with gold stars scattered throughout.

'I do love it!'

'That way you always know which one's yours!' Finn explained excitedly.

'Thank you so much!'

'You're welcome!' The whole Hudson bunch said in unison causing everyone to laugh.

'Okay, you guys were supposed to open yours too; get to it!' Puck ordered and the Hudson's all went after theirs with vigor. All four seemed excited about their gifts. Santana pulled out a giant homemade quilt that Aviva, Puck's mother had made; that apparently she had been begging for, for years. Finn pulled out a Cincinatti Bengal's hoodie that had him beaming and the girls each opened a new pair of skates. Jake opened his once the Hudson's had finished theirs and found a camera lens for the camera that Puck and Rachel had given him the year before. Marley's was opened just moments later and she practically drooled over the pink Michael Kor's bag that Rachel had picked. They all hugged and thanked each other for the gifts and got up to head to the entertainment room where the karaoke machine was hooked up.

'Guys, I hate to do this but I think that we're going to go ahead and head home… I'm feeling pretty exhausted and this baby is giving me cramps.' Santana whined. Finn and the girls looked disappointed but they conceded pretty easily. They all hugged and kissed and the Hudson's made their way back out to their car.

'That was lovely… despite all of my breakdowns.' Rachel stated with a hint of sadness as she leaned against Puck's shoulder. He squeezed her gently and kissed her forehead, waving as the red car drove off down the street. They re-entered the house and found the kids were already singing with Uncle Jake in the den. They both laughed at their rendition of Billy Joel's Piano Man and clapped as it ended.

'Alright, let me show you all how it's done.' Puck announced, setting up his new mic stand and picking the song he wanted. He turned to Rachel and gave her a wink as Sweet Caroline filled the room.

Rachel felt like she was in high school again. Puck was looking at her in the same way that had melted her heart so many years before. It was a welcome comfort that reminded her that no matter how different this alternate reality was, she new this man and had wanted him in her life since she saw him in her rear view mirror as she headed off to New York and he headed off to LA. She couldn't help but get to her feet and join him, the two of them singing their song in perfect harmony. The kids were clapping wildly, Jake had Marley on top of his lap and all of them did an amazing job with the '_bah, bah, bah_…', keeping the energy light and fun. They all took turns choosing their own songs… Carrie brought the house down with On My Own that brought Rachel to tears; Ezzy and Micah did multiple rock duets that had everyone jumping around and dancing. Marley was the comedic relief with an epic version of Doctor, Doctor that she directed towards her husband and even David had everyone singing along to Wheels on the Bus. Rachel was having more fun than she'd had in ages. The looks that Puck kept giving her warmed her heart and she found herself letting her walls down and soaking up his attention. It felt good to feel loved. Puck watched as she got a mischevious look in her eye and ran to take her turn at the mic. It didn't take her long to find the song she was looking for and a bright smile shined on her husband's face when he realized what she was going to sing.

**Just a small town girl… living in a lonely world**

**She took the midnight train going anywhere…**

Everyone joined her and they ended up crowding around the four microphones they had. It was a mess and rarely on key but it was one of the moments that Rachel prayed she never forget… of course, that didn't mean much these days. She just plastered on her smile and kept singing, hoping that the words would carry her through.

They went to bed late that night, long after the kids' normal bedtime… hell, long after Puck and Rachel's normal bed time. Jake and Marley decided that they wanted to sleep in their own bed considering their house was only a few houses down. They left with an arm full of leftovers and big, goofy smiles.

'How are you doing baby?' Puck asked when he walked into the bathroom and found her sitting at the vanity removing her foundation and applying her lotion; the simplified version of her old routine. She took a deep breath and set down the object in her hands.

'To be honest… I don't know. Tonight ended on a definite high note but I still haven't processed the fact that my dads are gone. It's hard because as far as I remember… this morning I was canceling plans with them. I was choosing my show over dinner with them. I want to wake up in the morning and have the chance to see them… to tell them I'm sorry for being a horrible daughter and make sure that they don't go to Italy. I don't want to be a part of this life I don't remember because I feel like a fraud. I feel like I'm an imposter in someone else's life and I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to have this beautiful family and an amazing husband… or the perfect best friends and in-laws…'

'Not all of your in-laws are perfect Babe… you're lucky you can't remember my crazy mother and all the hell she's given us…' He tried to joke. He failed miserable as tears leaked from his eyes.

'I don't know how to do this Noah… I don't know how to be a wife and mother.'

'No one knows how to be a parent or a spouse. Hell Rae, we mess up all the time. There have been days where I thought for sure you'd leave me because I fucked up so bad. Instead you were right there by my side, cleaning up my mess and laughing at it instead of making me feel like shit. There were days where you wanted to pull your hair out and I had to sneak you away for a few minutes and take over so that you wouldn't just grab the car keys and go. It's hard, so fucking hard, but we do it. We've been a team for nine years, through thick and thin and I don't plan on that ending any time soon.'

'Don't you see Noah, I'm fucking everything up! I should leave! I should stay far away until I get my memory back or until I go back to my life in New York! It's not fair to you! Instead of worrying about your children you have to worry about Crazy Berry and her head injury! You have to teach me how to do everything that should come so naturally to me!'

'That's my job! My life is dedicated to making sure that you and those children are safe and happy! I live for it! I would teach you our day to day life over and over again if it meant that I got to hold you in my arms and see your fucking smile! Don't you understand Rachel?! It's not about me! It hasn't been about me in almost a fucking decade! I love you and I promised that through sickness and in health I'd stand by your side! I will never break that promise!' His face was red and wet with hurt angry tears. This conversation was what he feared the most. He never wanted her to question her place in their home.

'I just… I can't Noah. I can't do this to you…' She rushed past him and grabbed a pillow from the bed before heading back downstairs. She planned on sleeping in the living room where hopefully she could regain her composure… or better yet, wake up back in her New York loft and this all be a really strange dream.

Puck had no intention of letting Rachel go. As he walked out of the bathroom and towards the hallway he was intercepted by a crying, sick Melody.

'I-is Mommy divorcing us?' she cried as he swept her up and held her in his arms.

'No baby, Mommy is just confused. She wouldn't divorce us.' In his head he was praying he was right.

'Ya sure Daddy, she seemed like she wanted to go.' A sad Ezra peaked around the corner into the room. Puck gave him a sad smile and nodded towards the bed and walked out into the hallway. Just as he expected, Caroline, Micah and even David were standing there with various looks of sadness, dressed in their flannel pajamas and each of them holding on to the ragged stuffed animals they loved.

'Come on guys, get in the bed.' He sighed. He knew Rachel was just going to sleep downstairs judging by the fact that she had taken a pillow and a blanket instead of her purse and the car keys. His kids needed him and he'd be damned if he wasn't there for them. He followed behind the kids, leaving the door open to the room and climbed on top of the bed. Melody snuggled into one side while David took the other, Carrie snuggled against David with her arm draped across them and Ezra was back to back with Melody. 'Hey Carrie, since you're on the end can you go get Lyric out of her crib? It feels weird to not have her here with us.'

'Sure.' She responded sleepily and headed to get her sister. A few minutes later, Lyric had her place on his chest. All six of the Puckerman children slept soundly together, little snores and random sounds comforting Puck as he worried about the one person missing from their family time. Around three in the morning he heard quiet footsteps and a small gasp as Rachel reentered the room. He gave her the same nod he had given Ezra and she made her way to the bed, taking a spot on the other side of Caroline. Puck reached over the kids and grabbed her hand, pulling it to his mouth to kiss it in a silent form of an apology for his poor reaction. She smiled at him in the dark, her eyes shining with tears and nodded at him to let him know that she was sorry too. Rachel didn't know what had possessed her to go back upstairs, but suddenly the feeling was overwhelming. She followed her instinct and had never been happier that she had. She still wanted to go home to New York with her fathers but for right now, in this _world_; this was where she needed to be. They finally fell asleep together, all eight Puckerman's together in a warm, bundled pile.


	4. Chapter 4

'Ewwww… Lyric stinks!' Ezra groaned waking everyone unceremoniously.

'Really dude, we like just went to bed.' Puck complained but soon his face was scrunched into a disgusted grimace. 'Wow, she could take out an army.' He added holding a giggling Lyric up in the air trying to get her out of their immediate area.

'What did you feed her Noah? It smells like something died in here.' Rachel joked sitting up rubbing her eyes. All of the kids turned and looked at her, surprised she was in bed with them.

'I fed her mashed potatoes and peas… so not my fault.' He played back as he got up and carried their daughter out of the room.

'Mommy, are you divorcing us?' Melody asked the same question she had given her father.

'No Honey, I'm not divorcing you guys… I just got sad and I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry you guys were sad… I was trying to make it better for everyone.

'It's better with you Mom, even if you don't remember us… I don't think Dad would be able to live without you.' Carrie added, leaning back into Rachel's arms. Rachel wrapped her arms around her daughter and laid her head down on Carrie's.

'I don't think I could live without him either…' She comforted and all of them fell into a peaceful silence.

'I think this is the quietest this family has ever been.' Puck stated when he walked in with a clean Lyric a few minutes later.

'Mom's not divorcing us!' Melody yelled and they all laughed. Puck looked over at Rachel and gave her a wink letting her know that he appreciated her effort.

'Good! Who's hungry?'

'I am!' They all, including Rachel shouted. They all filed out of the room and headed down to the kitchen. Carrie immediately got into the refriderator and pulled out the eggs and peppers while Ezra snuck in and grabbed the juice to poor everyone a glass. Puck went for the box of pancake mix in the pantry and Micah set the table. Rachel helped David clean blueberries while bouncing Lyric on her hip and started humming a tune to get the two to smile. She heard Puck start humming with her and soon the whole group was humming loudly to Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer while they worked on breakfast. At one point Puck spun Rachel to the middle of the room and danced with her while they transitioned into Jingle Bell Rock, this time singing as loud as they could. Rachel spun away from Puck and bent down to pull Micah into a dance. He gave a full belly laugh before dropping to the floor and brake dancing like his father used to do in high school. The other kids and Puck gathered around to cheer him on, clapping when he stood back up and did a quick Moonwalk before bowing.

'Nice moves little Mike Chang!' Puck congratulated giving his son a high five.

'Think Uncle Mike would think I got better?' He asked hopefully.

'For sure Little Dude…' He ruffled Micah's hair and they all picked up where they left off in the song and with breakfast. Soon they had a buffet on the table and they all sat around the table, the room chaotic and noisy but full of happiness.

'Can we go sledding today? It snowed more last night so I bet The Hill is perfect!' Ezra asked with a mouth full of blueberry pancake.

'I don't know, Rae, do you feel up to a sledding trip with all of these little monsters?' He joked as he stabbed his own pancake and shoved it into his mouth.

'I think we can handle it.' She answered smoothly as she snuck a piece of his pancake and ate it before he could steal it back.

'Then that's the plan! After we eat and clean, we'll all get ready and head to The Hill for some bombtastic sledding. I think I can even manage to whip up some of my famous Puckerman Hot Cocoa!' The kids all cheered. They wrapped up breakfast and all worked together to get the house cleaned up before the whole group ran upstairs and started getting ready. 'You sure you're up for this babe?' Puck asked as he walked up behind Rachel as she was putting a pair of snow pants on Lyric. She leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her waist kissing a trail up her neck to the spot behind her ear that made her knees week.

'Mmmm…' she sighed and turned her head so that he would have better reach. He chuckled against her making her shiver.

'God Rach, I'm used to having you every day. Not tasting you... feeling you… it's driving me crazy.' He groaned and moved his hands down to grip her hips. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt him pressed against her.

'I… I'm sorry Noah…' She stuttered, unable to really think with the way her body was responding to him.

'Mmmm… it's okay baby… whenever you're ready.' He kissed her temple and walked over to their closet to dig out his outfit, trying desperately to think of something that would rid him of his 'problem.' Rachel could barely focus as she tried to finish getting Lyric ready. Her hands shook as she pulled on the small bright pink hoodie and she had to take a few deep breaths to compose herself. She looked over at Puck and licked her lips as her eyes fell on his chiseled chest and the V that was prominent just above his low hanging pants. He caught her staring and winked at her, causing her to blush. Sure, she was going to try really hard to act 'normal' today but she hadn't expected to feel like this. She had forgotten the way that he had managed time and time again to rile her up when they were younger. Luckily for her, she had grown up and was no longer the naïve, sexually restricted girl she was in high school. She owned her sexuality and knew that she was _ready_. There had to be a reason she had let him knock her up _six_ times already…

The whole family congregated downstairs once they were ready, the girls all managing to dress in shades of pink and the boys all in black. They looked coordinated and it was adorable. They all piled into the van that had the dent in the front and took off towards 'The Hill.' Turns out that Rachel recognized the hill… it was one that Puck had taken her to when they were young, before the drama of high school. He smiled at her when he realized she remembered it and got out to help the kids with their sleds.

Rachel was handed a white sled with gold stars (shocking!) and she took off after the kids leaving Puck with Lyric at the bottom of the hill.

'This is totally not fair!' He called up at them but they all just turned and laughed at him. He rolled his eyes but smiled along with them, content to chill with his daughter who was being quite snuggly at the moment. He held a little one-sided conversation with her as he set up the three large thermoses that they had brought with hot chocolate. He could hear the kids screaming as they slid down the hill and took the opportunity to snap a few pictures of them. He smiled when he saw Rachel speeding down the hill, her hair flying around her face and her cheeks bright pink from the cold. She looked so happy that it was near impossible to tell that she wasn't the girl that had woken up with him the morning before and convinced him to take her to the mall with a very naughty bargain. Their life was so wonderful that most of the time it seemed unreal. He often spent time wondering how it was possible that he had gotten so lucky. He had the woman of his dreams and a family that kept him on his toes but was so full of love. His life was perfect. When he had gone to New York all those years ago to profess his love to her, he never expected it to turn out like this and he honestly thanked God daily for his blessings. He chuckled to himself as he remembered the moment he had seen her again. He had rear-ended her (shut up, he is a good driver… it's just the damn icy roads) and found her with her head on the steering wheel. When she had opened her eyes she looked at him with so much love and excitement that he couldn't stop himself from pulling her into his arms and kissing her senseless. That was nine years ago and yet, that overwhelming feeling never left his gut.

'Come on Noah! It's your turn!' Rachel called out as she pulled Lyric into her arms and pushed him towards the hill. He turned and surprised her with a kiss and then ran up the hill with the others. He took three turns down the slope and couldn't feel his fingers enough to go another round.

'I need hot chocolate, stat!' He called as he neared her. She was singing a song to Lyric and looked up at him with sparkling eyes that made his heart skip a beat. She was beautiful and got better and better every day. She greeted him with a steaming cup and followed suit with the line of kids that had followed him. 'You guys done here yet?' He asked already knowing their answer.

'No!' They all yelled in unison.

'Alright, but I'm beat. I'm too old for this… my back's already starting to hurt.' He groaned letting the kids laugh at him. They all ran off pretty quickly, a bunch of half empty cups for them to deal with.

'I hope you're not too tired…' Rachel stated casually as they cleaned up the hot chocolate mess. He turned to look at her but she just gave him a wicked smile and turned back to the cocoa that Micah had spilled.

'Don't worry babe, I'm never too tired for that…' Suddenly he was behind her much like earlier and this time she played back.

'Well that's good because I may just need you to rid me of a certain problem and it would be a shame if you were out of commission.' She winked at him and gave him a kiss before grabbing her sled and running back up the hill. He shook his head and finished cleaning up the mess while keeping Lyric from stepping off the back of the trunk. She was not a adventurous baby and preferred to chill inside the hatchback opposed to the cold snow. Today she was not only in a snuggly mood but in a playful one and he ended up playing peek-a-boo with her until the rest of the kids got puckered out.

The ride home was quiet. Each of the kids had fallen asleep immediately after they got back in the van. It was only a ten minute drive, max, but it was peaceful and would be a good boost for the kids.

'Oh shit, I forgot to tell you that we agreed to go to Nana Connie's old nursing home and sing for the group… the whole Glee club's going to be there.' Rachel realized that the sweet old woman must have passed and it reminded her of her fathers. She quickly pushed it to the back of her mind and smiled up at Puck.

'I would love to do that.'

'Awesome! It's kind of been our thing since we moved back but I just wanted to make sure.' He shrugged.

'Do the kids go with us?'

'Of course, it's good for them.' Puck replied. Rachel nodded and grabbed his hand. It was comforting to hear all of the wonderful morals they instilled in their children. They enjoyed the silence the rest of the way home and had to carry each of the kids into the house.

'Wow, they wore themselves out…' She commented as they entered their own room; the kids all in warm, dry clothes and sound asleep in their corresponding beds.

'They play hard.' He chuckled and began stripping out of his own wet clothes. Rachel nodded and started work on her own but stopped when she heard him groan.

'What?' She giggled.

'You're fucking hot…' He answered, staring at her. She had only managed to strip out of her pants and her hoodie, so she stood their in her panties and a matching long sleeved shirt.

'I haven't had the nerve to look at myself since I found out I had six kids.' She stated honestly; truly afraid of what it would look like.

'You're beautiful Rach. You took such good care of yourself you only have like two stretch marks and fuck… I even find those sexy.' He walked up to her and let his hands rub her stomach right above her panty line. She rolled her eyes. There was no way that stretch marks could be sexy. 'S'true… let me show you how sexy I think you are.' His voice was gravely as he leaned down and pulled her into a searing kiss.

'The kids…' She gasped when they parted for air.

'They'll be out for at least an hour; I slipped a couple Benadryl's in the cocoa…' Rachel's face looked mortified and he couldn't help but laugh. 'Chill babe, I'm joking. They were running in the cold for like two hours… nonstop. _That's_ why we have an hour.' He smiled at her and began working on her neck again. 'Ya know… it's kind of hot to think that this is kind of like your first time experiencing the Puckster in all his glory. Let me rock your world babe… show you why we've been together for ten years and I can still leave you a trembling, sweaty mess.' His words did her in. She wanted; no _needed_ him. She nodded and let herself relax in his arms; completely content with letting him do _whatever_ he wanted. 'I'm gonna make you feel so fucking good… you'll want to stay here forever.' There it was… the insecurity that Rachel hadn't recognized until now; the insecurity that Santana had warned her about. He was the same man that had once been an insecure teenager, using sex to feel _wanted_. Even now, after ten years of being with him, nine of those as his wife and eight as the mother of his children; he still felt that the only way to keep her was with sex. She grabbed his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.

'Noah Puckerman, I may not remember what happened the day before yesterday and I may freak out _a lot_; but I promise you that I'm staying… and it's not because you _rocked my world_ although, I am sure you can. I'm staying because you are a wonderful husband who loves me and his children. You are an amazing person and so freaking smart. You are talented and you deserve so much out of this life. I am staying Noah because I trust you… I trust that no matter what happens, you'll never leave _me_. Last night I wanted nothing more than to drive back to New York and never look back, but the look in your eyes, the emotion in your voice… it let me know that I belong here… I belong with you. Hell, do you really want to know what I remember last? It wasn't just driving. I was listening to Oh Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah thinking about you and wondering how after all of this time, the thought of you made me weak in the knees and I wanted you… I wanted to find you and tell you that Noah… I've been in love with you since we were sophomores in high school and you sang Sweet Caroline to me. I may not remember anything about the last ten years… but damn it Noah, I love you! No matter how scared I am, this is the life I wanted and I wanted it with you; only you!' She ignored the tears in his eyes and her own that were flowing down her face and pulled him as close to her body as possible and kissed him. She kissed him like she had dreamed of kissing him since they parted ways so many years before…

An hour later the couple made their way lazily down the stairs, wrapped in each other's arms and still humming with the glow of their previous activities. The kids were all slowly making their way out of their rooms with sleep in their eyes and a lot of yawns.

'Are we going to the nursing home still Daddy?' Micah asked as he walked down the hallway with his eyes closed. The couple chuckled.

'Yeah Little Dude, go get changed.' He nodded and turned around, narrowly missing the wall as he tried to wake up. They had a changed and happy Lyric and found that the other girls were already up and changed. 'Where are Ezzy and David?' Puck yawned.

'Ezzy is helping David change. They said they'd be ready soon.' Carrie answered happily. 'I woke up first so I figured that I'd get everyone going so we'd be on time… for once.' She teased.

'Much appreciated.' Puck replied giving her a kiss on the top of her head. It only took a few more minutes before the whole crew was downstairs and ready to go. They loaded back up in the van and headed out.

'You said earlier that the whole Glee club goes… mind catching me up on the details of the old group?' Rachel asked rubbing his hand with her thumb as their fingers stayed interlocked.

'Let's see… Blaine and Sebastian are together and working really hard at adopting. Kurt and Kurofsky finally realized that they belonged together and they have a four year old named Broderick and a two year old girl named Suzanna. Britt and Sam stayed together through 'college' and have a daughter named Samantha that just celebrated her 11th birthday… they stayed under the radar until a couple years ago when they popped back up in Lima. Kitty and Ryder ended up getting married this past summer. Quinn is still a total bitch who can't keep a man in her life; she ended up a lawyer and is best friends with this crazy whore named Bree and Unique the transvestite.'

'Daddy! Quit using bad words or mom's gonna get mad!' Melody scolded from the back of the van.

'Sorry… she's a total BORE… Anyway… who's left? Oh yeah, Cedes is with Matt. They met back up in LA at one of my shows. You know about Finn and Santana… uhm… Mike ended up with this dancer in New York named Sasha and they have a new little one named Kahia. Tina and Artie I think are secretly dating but no one knows for sure… Joe is in Peru doing missions work. I think that covers about everyone. Rachel smiled and snuggled into his shoulder; happy that most of their old acquaintances had found happiness with someone. They sang along to the radio the rest of the way and the kids managed to even get Puck to swing by a drive through for some _more_ hot cocoa. 'S'not as good as mine.' He grumbled as he handed back all five cups and a sippy full of apple juice for Lyric.

'We know Daddy but we love hot chocolate and we needed some!' Carrie replied, the sugar already having its effect. Rachel just laughed when Puck groaned and turned the radio back on so that the kids would stay entertained.

They pulled up to the nursing home a little while later and they opened the door to the van so the kids could get out of the confined space quickly. They were all buzzing on sugar (even Puck and Rachel) as they walked into the building and scattered immediately to go find their friends. Even Rachel felt comfortable enough to head over to Santana who looked quite miserable at a table all by herself.

'Hey San…' She greeted softly as she stripped her jacket off. 'Here.' She said holding out.

'What's this for?' The pregnant girl asked in confusion.

'I had a friend in New York that was pregnant. When she was in her final term she always needed some kind of pillow behind her back. It was the only kind of relief she could find.' Rachel shrugged; taking it upon herself to roll it up and stick it behind Santana's back.

'Oh my fucking God that feels so much better.' She groaned and Rachel had to stifle a giggle at the few old lady's that were sharing shocked looks over their game of Bridge. 'Seriously, I've been restless since I left your house last night.' She punctuated with a yawn. 'So, have you made the rounds yet? Everyone's here already.'

'Nope, I figured you could use the company. Plus, I don't feel like dealing with everyone's questions just yet.' She replied honestly. Santana looked at her quizzically before a look of shock crossed her face.

'You and Puck did the nasty!' The old women gasped. 'Hey, mind your old business you old Betty's!' She scolded. 'But seriously Rach…'

'How in the world do you come to that conclusion?' She asked Santana in shock.

'Oh please, we've been friends for years and I know the look you get. Your eyes get all sparkly and you keep glancing sideways in hopes to see his fine ass. I know you Rachel Puckerman.' Rachel's breath caught in her throat. She knew that she was married, the giant rock on her finger was a huge indicator… but no one had said her new name out loud until now. It felt right.

'You're right… no point in hiding it. I had sex with my amazingly handsome husband and it was magical… I'm still trying to recover.' She giggled but nearly screamed when she felt hands on her shoulders.

'Don't worry babe… you'll be ready for round two by the time we get home… or is it round four? I lost count.' Puck's voice sent a shiver down her spine and she felt the warm heat pool in her lower stomach. She had no doubt she'd be ready… again.

'Damn it. The sexuality you two radiate is suffocating. I'm way too pregnant to get horny.' Santana groaned making Rachel laugh. The two sat chit chatting for what felt like hours. Everyone came up and asked her how she was feeling, obviously having heard the news of her accident from Puck and Finn. She let them know she was good and did her best to be polite. It was stressful but not nearly as daunting as she thought it was going to be. She had just served Santana a cup of water when she heard the mic squeal and heard Puck clear his throat.

'Hello ladies and gentlemen, my name is Noah Puckerman and I'm the grandson of Connie Cohen. She loved Christmas despite the fact that she was a total Jew and because of it we started playing here annually for her. We lost her a few years ago but never stopped this amazing tradition. We're going to play just a few songs for you and I hope you all enjoy.' He walked over to the side of the stage and grabbed his guitar before taking the stool he had been standing in front of. 'Alright, since this was my Nana's favorite song, my brother and I decided to sing this song and I'd really like if our families would join us.' Rachel smiled at him and walked over to grab Lyric from Tina so she could join her husband, kids and in-laws on stage. They were in perfect harmony as they did a beautiful rendition of 'Winter Wonderland' that had a few of the audience members dabbing away tears.

The rest of the day went by quickly. They all sang along to old favorites and even danced around with some of the people they were there to entertain. Rachel couldn't believe how wonderful the whole experience was and hated to see it end. Instead of heading straight home once it was all said and done, the Puckerman's drove around Lima to see all of the Christmas lights that were up. It was another magical moment and Rachel realized that if she never woke up out of the dream; she would be completely content.

Once home, they all stood around and lit the three candles and recited the prayers that the second night of Hanukkah required. They opened their gifts in the light of the fireplace and even managed to sing a few more songs before the first child fell asleep in Puck's arms. He and Rachel put the kids to bed after that with very little complaint.

'Well that was wonderful.' Rachel hummed as she stood next to the bed holding Puck around the waist.

'It was… I love our family.' He replied softly.

'Me too.' She looked up at him as he leaned down to kiss her. It was slow and romantic and Rachel, for the first time in years, felt like she was home.

Her head suddenly felt foggy. It had to be the kiss that had done her in but honestly, the throbbing in her head and the sudden breeze seemed way out of place. She kept her eyes squeezed tight, terrified to open them. Things felt different. One minute she was warm and safe and loved in Puck's arms and now he was gone… She felt alone and it was overwhelming. She didn't think that he would have left her after the day they had had but the insecurity was there. There was a possibility that maybe he realized that he didn't need her in his life and he was free to move on… but that didn't seem right.

'Rachel… holy fuck… Rachel are you okay?' She heard him ask and suddenly she was panicking. Maybe her head injury was worse than she thought. She decided that the only way to find out what was happening would be to open her eyes no matter how badly she wanted to keep them closed. Her vision was blurry at first but it only took a few seconds for it to all come into focus. She was behind the wheel of a car. She was staring down a long street with cars parked on either side of the road and buildings that rose beyond her sight. There were people that were headed her way… strangers that looked concerned for her. 'Rachel I'm so fucking sorry.' She heard his voice again and turned to look out of her now opened door. There he was. His face was older than it was in hospital but younger than it had been just moments before. His hair was longer than she ever remembered seeing, just an inch or so long but it fit him and made him look far more mature than his apparent age. He looked so worried and it should have scared her but it didn't…

'Hello Noah, it's been awhile.' She stated happily and unbuckled her seat belt. He looked shocked but couldn't help but return the smile she gave him. His hand reached up and touched her head tentatively, his thumb carefully brushing over the knot she knew was there. 'I missed you.'

'I missed you too babe… didn't plan on reuniting like this though…'

'I know but I'm glad you're here.' She smiled.

'You don't look surprised to see me… which totally _sucks_ because I had a song planned and shit…' He said with a frown and a wrinkle between his eyebrows. She giggled and placed a kiss on the crease.

'I told you years ago my love… I have a sixth sense… I'm kind of psychic.'


End file.
